On Time and Freedom
People may be divided in two broad categories. Those who (more or less) managed to follow their dreams and those who had to work in more mundane activities to sustain living.
In the first category, I place a lifelong friend of mine that owns a winery. For him every day is not very different from any other. Weekends, holidays, workdays are all dedicated to making an even better wine than he already does (which is really amazing). It is questionable whether he will decide to hand over the main responsibility of his arduous work to anyone else. It is not a matter of trust or lack of skills. It is a decision to relinquish a beloved child to another caretaker. This friend of mine does not long to be free from his work.
In the second category, I place the vast majority of people, including myself. When I was working, I was dreaming of the period when "everything" would be possible. It's almost four years since I gained my freedom and people I have not seen for a long time are asking me "how is it like?". So, this post is an attempt to answer that question!
First of all, the term "retired" does not really describe the mentality or status of a live person that wants to visualize his / her dreams. The term I prefer is "master of oneself": it is the result of having a minimal financial independence. The initial feeling is that of a child being in a huge room with hundereds of toys! Seems that the "only" problem you have is to decide which are the more desirable toys! This is not entirely true however for several reasons.
Suppose you become master of yourself at sixty four. When you were a kid, someone else was deciding for you. Were you free then? There was some freedom until the age of six but on the other hand, the level of maturity at that time was different. The bottom line: this kind of freedom is a situation you encounter for the first time of your life! Then a year passes. Compare sixty four years of dependency and compulsory work vs one year of freedom. Look at the fraction: one over sixty four, i.e. ~1.6%! You are far more programmed than you think!
An analogy: Imagine a car running at 100 Km/hr on a street that ends on a sharp cliff. No worries: you are not in it! You've put a brick on the gas pedal and the car is not yours! At the end of the road the car ejects over the cliff: the road does not resist the gravity pull anymore and the car follows a parabolic trajectory till it hits the ground. All your work habbits are the gravity. The alarm that went off every morning, the meetings, time constraints for the deliverables, plans, unwanted or desirable cooperations, etc. The moment you' re off the hook, you'll feel that gravity pulling you down because you are programmed for it, conditioned even. Your logic says that it does not have to be that way but your momentum says otherwise!
During the era of the dependency you had a small amount of free time during a week. Did you spend some of it thinking about problems are work? I did! During the free era, you have a lot of time: more than you ever had before! For the first time your mind thinks so much, unconstrained!
The first trap to be avoided is regretting about the past. What is done, is done. For the future that lies ahead, one has to balance his / her bucket list (dreams, goals, desires) vs living the moment. Both are needed.
During the free era, one scrutinizes all things that were taken for granted: expect a continuous recalibration to find your true self. It happens more frequently than expected. Plus, there are a number of dimensions to be considered.
The medical dimension: you thought you'd be for ever the way you are now! But your body (and mind) are not designed to be at sixty as they were at thirty. At sixty you discover that there are medical issues and medecine shortcomings: do what you have to do first before going to a doctor! Having from a pathologist, an otolaryngologist and a neurologist a different diagnosis for the same Computed Axial Tomography scan puts medecine under a whole new perspective. Adapt! Beethoven started to loose his hearing yet he managed to create the 9th Symphony when he was deaf!
The social dimension: people in the freedom state are like stars travelling in different directions with the speed of light! People you used to work with, which are still working, seem sometimes ages apart! Socialization is more demanding: you want more (become now you are a harder critic) but you may get less.
The satisfaction dimension: are you always unsatisfied with what you are doing? Guess what: now this may become more intense! We become more demanding as we grow. We want to please ourselves more, because we lived through hustle and now (we think) is the time to get ... rewarded! But this is a problematic state of mind. You have to be able to live with yourself: be less demanding, more forgiving (not only for others but for you also).
In the film "Meet Joe Black (1998)", Brad Pitt quotes Benjamin Franklin: "Nothing is certain except death and taxes". The real question is not "how much time I have left?" but "do I live every day to the best of my abilities?". So, whether you are still in the era of dependency or the era of freedom, enjoy the ride!
